The grass is NOT always greener on the other side...

You know, us normal peons often times look at all the super famous and successful musicians, actors and other creative people in the news, radio and airwaves and think they have the idealic, perfect, to be envied lives for sure. We see them traveling the world, playing their music in these huge venues, in front of thousands of adoring fans all the time. We see them making movies that bring in millions of dollars from the public, of which they get huge shares of wealth and think Wow! How cool is that?

Well, there are untold, unimaginably difficult concessions that come with those seemingly perfect life styles, to say the least. First of all, in the vast majority of cases, they've worked their whole lives super hard to achieve the skills necessary to make all that happen. Most of the super great musicians and movie stars started on their perspective career goals very early in life, if not when they were just children.

Just a few examples off the top of my feeble noggin. Let me get personal, just for a moment. I've been a musician basically my whole life and it's far from what it's all cracked up to be to most people. In my youth, I had a full time job during the day in Sacramento California and was in a "house band" 4 nights a week at a smoky bar in a town about thirty miles away in Davis California. My "Day gig" was a 9 to 5 affair and the night gig started at 9:00 P.M. at night and ended at 2:00 A.M.

So.........get off work around 5:00 P.M., go home to a quick dinner, say hi to everyone with phony smiles , change cloths and off I went into the night, not to be seen by my family until the next mornings few minutes before leaving for the day gig. Can you imagine how much quality time that left for normal life with family. To my family of that time in my life, I was just this guy who zoomed in and out of their lives, giving very little of myself indeed, to say the least.

I watched a special on Willie Nelson one time a few years ago where it told of him doing something like 157 different venues a year at that time of his career. OK............stop and give that some serious thought for a moment. That meant he and his entire entourage pulled up to a completely new town, got off the bus, unloaded the incredible amount of equipment necessary to do the concert. Then set it all up in a perfect, precise way to do the concert that night. Then they had to go on stage in front of thousands of fans and pretend that the fans were the most important things in their lives, not matter how bad they might feel. Headache? Arthritis? Hangovers? Screw those details. Doesn't matter. Put on the show, come hell or high water folks..

Being in the business so long, I have a very good friend that joined a group I was in when he was 16 years old. Had all of Jimmie Hendrix's material down pat. Note for note. From my day gig I used to get him false mustaches to make him appear old enough to play in the bars with us. A few years later he went off and became the lead guitar player in a very, very famous 60's rock band and played with them for years. Then he started his own band playing in the "Smooth Jazz" style. He's to this day very successful, traveling the world over, with a huge fan base.

Through these years, we talk once in a while about our lives and I've come to know just how hard his life style is often times. He also is one of the "traveling bands" that move from venue to venue pretty much year around. By the way, he has a home in Oregon with a wife and son. He told me once he sees them about once every three or so months. The truth is he gets to live in fancy hotels, eat in fancy restaurants but he's not home and not eating home made food, that's for sure. He just repeated to me the other day that he spends far, far too much time just handling the bookwork involved in such a large production. Uncle Sam drives him crazy with their demanding paperwork, just as he does all of us. He also told me once that I would be surprised at just how much money it costs to keep this enterprise on the road year around. So in reality, it's kind of amazing how relativity little is left over after paying Managers, Road Crews, other band members, hotel, food, travel expenses. That list is far to much for me to even imagine. I believe him when he says he doesn't get rich by any stretch of the imagination.

I remember a talk we had years ago where I was talking about how much I enjoyed working in my garden. He was very quiet for a while and then said "You know what? I should not complain with my life being so successful right now but I'm actually jealous of your talk of gardening. I have a beautiful house on a hill with landscaping galore but my gardening staff handles all that. I don't have any time at all to put my hands in the dirt and smell nature as you do". It was amazing. I almost found myself feeling a little sorry for him at that moment.

Well as your can clearly see, the "on the road again" phenomena is far from what we all thought it would be. Sure most of them make from very good to great money but in most cases have no regular life at all. In the Western music realm, the greats figured out years ago that they could just eliminate traveling all together. They created great halls and venues in Nashville Tennessee and just invite the public to come on down to their place. It worked beautifully and to this day, they all get to live at home, have great family lives and still enjoy their crafts.

So, as the title of this piece says "The grass is NOT always greener on the other side" at all. Looking out at the world of the rich and famous is not always what it's cut out to be. Probably the best example would be all the poor super famous, rich people who have committed suicide through the years with their flamboyant, crazy living or just done in using drugs to try a blunt their personal pains away.

Makes our plain, sometimes perceived boring lives pretty spectacular huh? So get out in your yard, stick your hands in the earth, smell the richness and be thankful for the wonderful lives you do have.

An update for ya.
In my zeal to talk about the down side of the artist world, I forgot that there are plenty of great artists who have wonderful lives and love every minute of their careers. So I have to add this little piece to complete the project.

Since putting up this Blog, my long time friend responded back with some reality checks that I feel are important.
First of all, he told me that all that "on the road" time was mainly when he was in the super successful 60's band, years ago. He's life was hectic 101 then. For years now though, he does enough concerts to keep it real and is home with his very loving family most of the time. One fact I do know is he is very proud father of his children, which are doing great. Of course that says something about him, now doesn't it.
Good job buddy. In my book, you made it!
I'm proud to say "I knew him when" and unashamedly use him as a bragging point in my life often........"^)



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