Friday, November 21, 2008

Wonderful, Natural Nature

So......last night, when we arrived home from our work, we opened the slider to the back deck to put the cat's food dish out and there as often is, was a skunk. I Psssssst! real loud and off the deck he went. Then, as I was setting the dish down again, low and behold, there was another one hiding behind the chair just inches away from my hand. It kinda surprised me and sorta pissed me off, so I reached down, picked up the large water bowl we have there and threw the whole thing straight at the skunk, hitting it broadside with all that water.

Well.............in that split second, without me even seeing it or knowing it, the son of a bitch let loose with his gun full force at me. Holy shit, all of the sudden, my wife and I could not even breath, it hit us so hard. We slammed the slider shut and stood there in shock, barely able to take a full breath of air, right in our own living room.

So......all the doors and windows wide open. Ceiling fan on full blast. Air Freshener sprayed throughout the whole house, as we try and return to some kind of normalcy with our evening routine feeding the cats and starting dinner as the whole house smells like the end of the world.

As time went on, it started calming down a bit but my wife kept saying every-time I got near her, it got worse. So I went into the bedroom and started stripping off clothes and smelling them. Took a bath in damn ketchup, then a shower. Everything I had on was screwed, including my slippers, so off they went outside, where they are still. We think we are probably going to have to just throw away everything I had on.

So, on my way to pick up my wife again from work, I stopped off at Rite aid and bought new slippers.

So, there ya go. The wonderful realities of living in the damn mountains, with all it's wonderful, natural wildlife. Damn Nature!!!

I sent this story to my daughter in Las Vegas and told her "DO NOT LAUGH!" Well, as you can imagine, she laughed and wrote this back:



AHHHH! HAHA! that is hilarious... Dad oh dad oh dad, you just simply CAN NOT have bad thoughts about skunks when they
are within a 20 ft proximity. NO BAD THOUGHTS. you must continue to think 'oh how adorable and cuddly and fluffy' until you are out of firing range, then you can think 'listen up you $%#@ &*%$#@%' and pull the trigger (be it a water bucket or a shotgun)... ;)

Remember, those are like really, really smart cats with a BIG STINKY GUN, and they have an attitude problem bigger than the devil himself.
Cute, fluffy, adorable and extremely dangerous.

She's still laughing.


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

so much for turning the other cheek,Lib! your only friend,clean smelling Bob K. L.M.A.O. (love the wheel chair logo at the bottom)